Aunt Pam
sent amazing goodie boxes every 3 weeks or so throughout Joseph's entire year
of treatment! She went out and found special treats and toys and stickers
and good things to munch on, boxed them up with a cheerful, newsy letter
and hauled them off to the post office covered in funny notes and more stickers!
Showing great wisdom, she always made sure to include goodies for both
boys. When these delightful boxes would appear on the front porch,
someone would bring them to the hospital or, if Joseph were home, I'd sneak
them into the closet to slip into a bag for the next hospital trip.
Joseph, bored, hooked up to an IV and feeling yucky, would light up and shine
when I'd pull out an "Aunt Pam and Uncle Dennis" box. Ripping it open,
exploring the contents, showing them off to the nurses, playing with new
toys and nibbling new treats would keep him distracted and cheerful for long
stretches of time.
Aunt Pam with
Nate and Joseph, New Year's 1998
Who came
all the way from Kansas City to hold our hands and help interpret medical
gibberish in those first scary, other-worldly days? Who has the guts
to face surgical dressings and chest tubes without flinching? Who took
the time to make piles of video tapes of Cartoon Network to give a little
boy something to do during long, miserable days in a hospital bed?
Aunt Mary Alice, of course. She was our connection to sanity through
constant email and phone conversations. She provided lots of love and
hopefulness to all of us every single day. She and Uncle Gary came
up several times to help when Joseph was in the hospital, to give Nate some
special attention and to cheer everybody up. They organized a carry-in
Thanksgiving dinner at our house, so even though we couldn't travel, we could
see everybody and not have to do much meal preparation. And they splurged
and spent a week down in Florida with us for the big "No More Chemo" celebration--yippee!
Aunt Mary Alice
with Goofy, 2002
"Auntie
Barbara" came up from Chicago to Madison when she could to help us juggle
home life during Joseph's hospitalizations, making it possible for David to
go to work and for both boys to get the attention and grown-up time they
needed. She brought gifts and cards and good cheer, and at the end
of Joseph's treatment she and Uncle Larry joined with Grandma and Grandpa
Woods to send the 4 of us to Florida to make wonderful memories at Disney
World for Joseph's amazing "No More Chemo" celebration! If you see her,
give her a hug.
When Joseph
was first diagnosed, I was sitting on the couch and I asked Mary Alice in
desperation, "what will l do with Nate when Joseph has to be in the hospital
all these times? Where will he go?" My dear friend Mary Prior
sitting across from me smiled calmly and said "He'll live with us."
And she really meant it. ("Wow, you're lucky to have a friend like
her!" Mary Alice said to me later. I already knew that.) Nate
spent a lot of nights and weekends out at the Prior house while Joseph needed
both Mama and Daddy to be in the hospital with him at night, or when Daddy
had to go to work. Their home was his home, where he could laugh and
play and forget, or be crabby and worried if he needed to be, because he
was in a safe and loving place. While I was in the hospital rubbing
Joseph's knees and back to help him fall asleep, Mary was at home rubbing
Nate's back and helping him fall asleep. I don't know if it takes a
whole village to raise a child, but it did take a very good family from the
village of Deerfield to help raise ours for a long year.
Mary and Chuck
Prior, Ryan, Zach and Emma
Chris Shelton
is a wonderful mom, a fabulous teacher and a faithful friend. We knew
her well from Nate's happy year in her kindergarten class, so when Dr. Sondel
convinced us that Joseph should go to school, we asked if he could be in
Chris' class. She came to our house a few weeks before school started
to say hi to Joseph and learn what she'd need to know about his treatments,
his hickman line, how he'd be feeling in her class, any special needs he'd
have. She let him talk to the class about his illness on the first
day to get everyone comfortable right away, and she let us circulate a letter
to parents to inform them, too. She went to great lengths to help Joseph
integrate back into the class after his many absences, and her enthusiasm
and warmth made him feel so happy and at home at school that he managed to
be in her class a little over 50% of the year, which was amazing. He couldn't
wait to go back to school! When he had to be in the hospital, she would
take the time to pack up a funny old suitcase of hers with lots of books
and activities the other kids would be doing while he was gone, and send
it along with us. Teachers do the most important work in our
society, and Chris is the best you'll ever meet.
Chris Shelton with
Joseph